Every Couple Needs a Road Map

Let’s say you’re going on a road trip. You need several things. You need to know where you want to go and you need a vehicle that will get you there. You can have a wonderful destination in mind. You may even have a brand new car—reliable, well equipped and full of gas. And you can be ready and willing to go. But you won’t make it without one more thing. 

You have to know HOW to get there. You need directions. Just to get behind the wheel and start driving is a bad idea. As they say, “Failing to plan is planning to fail.” Without directions, eventually, however hard you might try, you’ll probably end up lost. 

Couples Get Lost Too

And that isn’t just true for road trips. It’s also true for relationships. All couples start out headed in the right direction. They have the vehicle. Their love is beautiful and will take them places. So they embark. As the song says, “A kiss for luck and we’re on our way.” But, we all find sooner or later that love is not enough—good intentions alone won’t get you there. We need directions. Looking for a place we’ve never been and, after perhaps years of searching, we begin to believe that we’ll never find that happy place (if it even exists). The highway of love is strewn with couples who gave up or broke down along the way. It’s all too common…all for lack of a good road map.


If that’s you…if you and your partner want desperately to get to a better place but just don’t know how, don’t give up. Great news: there IS a road map. No matter how long you’ve been lost, you can get back on the right track. 

Hold Me Tight is Your Road Map

That’s what Hold Me Tight®️ is all about. Hold Me Tight®️ is a road map for relationships, one that leads to understanding, clarity, connection and a deeper level of intimacy that is the very definition of love. Come to a Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat in Florida and find a clear path and the confidence that you can get there, even if you thought you were lost for good. 


So, what happens at a Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat? First, you’ll learn how you and your partner get so lost. How could you start out so right and end up so wrong, so disconnected, so escalated? And you seem to have the same arguments, as if you’re going in circles, but getting nowhere. Hold Me Tight®️ is rooted in solid science. Love need not be so confusing. Hold Me Tight®️ will help you make sense of what so often doesn’t.


But, that’s just the first step. From there you’ll learn what all humans need in love and how to give it. You’ll learn how to have conversations, not confrontations. You’ll learn about powerful tools like vulnerability and empathy AND how to use them…with your partner, at your own pace, in real time. Hold Me Tight®️ is a low key, group experience. You’ll not only be with your partner; you’ll be with other couples as well who are finding their way too. 


In a previous life, I was an over the road trucker. With my trusty road atlas, I could literally get to anywhere in these United States confidently and capably. The road map made all the difference. 


But, now, I’m a couples therapist and I’ve seen countless couples who have the “want to.” They love each other and are desperately searching for their “happy place.” But they don’t know how to get there. They try. They keep trying. But, the more they try and the more lost they feel, the more their hope wanes. 


Too many give up..all for lack of a road map.

Don’t Give Up

If that’s you, you’re not alone. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad couple. It just means you’re lost. The shame isn’t in being lost. It’s in not using the map at your fingertips. Hold Me Tight®️ is your map. 


Let Hold Me Tight®️ show you the way. 


Come to Florida and start your journey. We embark THIS Friday and Saturday. We have room for you at Hold Me Tight®️. Sign up today!


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Have a Safety Plan

Change Your Viewing

By Mark Beck • May 29, 2025
What is the first step to changing our station in life, changing a situation or a relationship? I suggest it starts with changing how we view things, how we look at the problem or the person. Do we see burden or a blessing…obligation or opportunity? Often, when we’re stuck, say, in a difficult relationship, we see our partner as an opponent. He or she is the problem. We may even go find a therapist whom we hope will “fix” our partner. We focus on the other’s weakness, faults and failures, how they let us down and miss the mark. If that is your focus, then the more you look, the more you will see. Most couples who come to me for therapy are so focused on their partner’s problems that they can’t see anything else. They are often stuck in blame and negativity. And what we see informs what we believe. If we see only the bad in our partner, it’s easy to believe that he or she doesn’t love us or that the relationship is hopeless. That’s when couples don’t call me; they call lawyers.

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A local factory required all of its employees to attend a safety class. One fellow didn’t really pay attention and when the final exam at the end of the class asked, “In case of a fire, what steps would you take?” the fellow answered, “Large ones!” “Safety First” is a wise strategy, everywhere from the workplace to the highway to healthcare to childcare. Injuries and accidents cost multiplied billions every year and it’s always better to prevent an accident than to treat one. Whatever the setting, people do better when they feel safe.

Curious or Critical

By Mark Beck • March 14, 2025
Somebody said, “Marriage is a never ending conversation.” I think that’s true. It certainly is a never ending education. That’s part of what makes it fun. Everyday I learn something about my wife, Debbie, about how she sees the world and sees me. And I’m often surprised at our different perspectives. We were on the verge of an argument the other day, simply because we both saw the situation very differently. Neither of us were wrong. But, once I realized how Debbie saw things, I understood her actions and reactions much better. And I realized again that a real key to connection lies in understanding, more than being understood. The late Sue Johnson used to say, “People calm down when they feel understood.” I’ve certainly found that to be true.

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By Mark Beck • January 24, 2025
You might remember the cruise ship Costa Concordia that foundered off the coast of Italy in 2012 after her captain carelessly steered her too close to shore. Rocks tore a 175 foot gash in her hull and the ship listed severely to her starboard side, taking on water and running aground. Ultimately, 32 people died and the recovery cost about $2 billion. Perhaps the greatest blunder though, was that the captain waited over an hour to give the order to abandon ship. For such negligence, he was ultimately convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to 15 years. Indeed, he left the ship with 300 passengers still on board! (He said he “fell” into a lifeboat as it was being lowered.)

Help Is Nearby

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I had a close call today. I was almost duped by a very slick hacker. He posed as a security guy from PayPal and I nearly gave him remote access to my computer. (I know, that sounds pretty stupid on my part.) Fortunately for me, when things smelled fishy, I tapped out before any real damage was done. But, I didn’t know what to do from there. I unplugged my PC and called an expert. He knew just what to do and he got me up and running in no time. What a relief! It cost me a few bucks, but most likely saved me a lot more. Computers are a necessary evil in my life. I can’t even imagine managing my home or my business without one. But, they can sure be troublesome. And a cyber wizard, I am not. That’s my problem. I know just enough to be dangerous. It sure eases my mind that help is available when I need it. Because some things I can’t fix. That doesn’t make me stupid…it’s just not my expertise.

Comfort Isn't Always Comfortable

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When You Hit Turbulence

By Mark Beck • December 16, 2024
Now and then, I travel by air. I enjoy it, for the most part. But, on one trip, seemingly out of nowhere, the plane hit heavy turbulence. Suddenly, the cabin was shuttering and shaking. I looked outside; the wings were visibly bouncing up and down as the plane lurched and pitched. I tried to hide my fear, but (pardon the pun) it really shook me up. My stomach tightened; my breathing got shallow. I couldn’t think straight. Having such little experience with something like that, I feared we would crash. But, then, I noticed the flight attendants. They were cool as the backside of a pillow…no panic or alarm. I wondered how they could be so calm. Soon the pilot came over the intercom and in a steady, measured voice, explained that turbulence is normal, the plane was built for much, much worse and it would all subside in a few moments. The crew had been through this many times. They understood what was happening and what to do. I was so glad that somebody did! Their calm was contagious. Gradually, I was able to relax and realized that it wasn’t the crisis I had feared it was. That was a game changer. I got through it and now, turbulence isn’t the problem it used to be for me when I fly. It still happens, but I know what it’s about when it does and that gets me through. .
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