Three Ingredients

Renowned relationship researchers Drs. John and Julie Gottman talk about three main areas that healthy couples have in common. First, they share an overall fondness and appreciation for one another. In short, they like each other. They are best friends. They speak much more positively than negatively (at least a 5:1 ratio, in fact). They see and say what they admire and enjoy in and with one another.

Second, they manage conflict well. The word is manage, not resolve or avoid. That is to say, conflict is inevitable (and can even be constructive). And Gottman contends that solving or resolving every conflict is neither necessary nor possible. Indeed, about two thirds of what couples disagree on—they’ll never agree on. These are matters of taste and preference, personality and opinion…what Gottman calls “perpetual problems.” So, the issue is not conflict; it’s how couples manage it. And the damage happens when conflict escalates and becomes hurtful and personal. Sadly, it often does. Couples who manage conflict well know how to maintain a dialogue rather than insisting on winning or getting their way. They can agree to disagree and can respect their partner’s different viewpoint. Thus, conflict seldom becomes combat.

And third, healthy long term couples have what Gottman calls a sense of “shared meaning.” That is, they value the uniqueness of their relationship. Every couple has its own culture that sets them apart, be it in their roles, their goals, their special ways of doing life. Healthy couples have a sense of direction, purpose and vision. “They know where they’re going in life” and they’re committed to the journey.

So, friendship and appreciation, managing conflict and a sense of shared meaning are Gottman’s Big Three for making love last. Within those are all the other classic skills: forgiveness, communication, trust, commitment, respect, intimacy.

Going Deeper

But, as important as all those truly are, something deeper lies beneath long term love. Without it, couples often sense that something important is still missing between them, although they can’t quite put a finger on it. There is a deeper level of emotion. It’s about fear, uncertainty, a longing for connection that many couples don’t know how to reach. They may not even know it’s there. Getting to it requires vulnerability and empathy. It requires the safety of knowing that your partner is there for you.

And that is where couples go in a Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat. Hold Me Tight®️ goes where other couples workshops don’t. Hold Me Tight®️ is a deep dive into what really makes love last for the long run. 

When I say, “Deep dive,” don’t panic; don’t click to another page. Hold Me Tight®️ is safe and simple. It isn’t therapy. No one gets put on the spot or confronted. Couples go at their own pace and learn the eye opening lessons of attachment. They learn what all couples need and seek for a lifetime of love, but too often just don’t know how to find. Hold Me Tight®️ is rooted in solid research and has the best results in the business. Couples consistently report that at Hold Me Tight®️, they learned to connect in ways they never knew how or knew that they could. They leave confident and capable that they can last.

Learn the Lessons of Love

Life has no guarantees (nor do couples retreats), but a Florida Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat can slant the playing field in your favor and greatly increase the chances for longevity in your love. Thousands of other couples have learned how at Hold Me Tight®️. Florida is beautiful in the springtime. Spend a couple of days with the one you love and give your relationship a gift that will last a lifetime. Our next workshop is just a few weeks away. 

• Learn more about Mark and Vicki
• Sign up for our contact list
• Get ready for a transformational experience