Reflections on a Hold Me Tight Couples Retreat

In this blog, I’d just like to share a few reflections on our most recent Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat. As always, it was nothing sort of amazing. No two retreats are the same, but they never fail to amaze Vicki and me. Last weekend, we welcomed eight couples to our Winter Park (Orlando) FL venue. That is a little smaller group than usual, but it only makes for a warmer experience. It’s always exciting to meet new couples for the first time, to hear their stories and what brought them our way. The couples in this retreat varied in age and number of years together, from 4 years to about 40 years. It was clear that some were very stuck, unsure that they could figure out their relationship, but willing to try. Others were happy together, but wanted to make their good thing even better. 

Later, we learned that at least one couple saw the Hold Me Tight®️ retreat as sort of a “last best hope” before throwing in the towel on their marriage. You wouldn’t have guessed it to look at them, but they weren’t the first such couple to come to a Hold Me Tight®️ retreat as a last resort.

All Couples Have Common Ground

So, as we broke the ice and our couples began to get acquainted, we all marveled as always at how much all couples have in common. No two are alike, but we all have common wishes, common needs, common fears, common issues and common mistakes trying to manage them. That’s one of the great things about a group experience like Hold Me Tight®️. We see how alike we all are.


Together, our couples learned what attachment science can teach us about what all humans crave and how often and easily we get off track trying to meet those needs. As we began to make sense of it all, couples gained a new perspective on their relationship and their partner. They began to see one another in a new light. They learned new skills to connect deeply and practiced having conversations instead of confrontations. They learned about vulnerability and empathy. Each couple went at their own pace. No one was put on the spot. It was a safe, simple process.

Two Days Can Make a Big Difference

But, in the span of two short days, our couples found that small risks can lead to big results in love. As they learned to go deeper together, they learned how to interrupt cycles of conflict, how to show up for one another, perhaps for the first time (or the first time in a very long time). Some healed very deep wounds. Others connected like never before. And one couple told us, “Thank you for saving our marriage.”


Hold Me Tight®️ is not miracle work (although some couples have seen it that way). Couples get out of it what they put into it. And we don’t do rebuilds in two days. But, however much couples accomplish in two days, all of our couples leave the workshop with a road map, a direction for connection that can last a lifetime. And, if you’re lost in the wilderness, a roadmap can be an absolute lifesaver. It can make all the difference. 


For me, Hold Me Tight®️ is the most rewarding experience I’ve ever had as a helping professional. One of our couples said, “This should be required for every couple.” I don’t know about required, but it’s certainly available for every couple and I can’t imagine why two people who love one another wouldn’t want what Hold Me Tight®️ has to offer.


In so many ways, life is a “no risk, no reward” proposition. You get out what you put in. And Hold Me Tight®️ is “low risk and high reward.” But, don’t take my word for it. Your relationship is priceless to you. It literally impacts every facet of your life. Give it your best and let Hold Me Tight®️ help.


Check out all the details at the home page on this website and plan to join us in beautiful Orlando this November. We’d love to have you!


Have a Safety Plan

Change Your Viewing

By Mark Beck • May 29, 2025
What is the first step to changing our station in life, changing a situation or a relationship? I suggest it starts with changing how we view things, how we look at the problem or the person. Do we see burden or a blessing…obligation or opportunity? Often, when we’re stuck, say, in a difficult relationship, we see our partner as an opponent. He or she is the problem. We may even go find a therapist whom we hope will “fix” our partner. We focus on the other’s weakness, faults and failures, how they let us down and miss the mark. If that is your focus, then the more you look, the more you will see. Most couples who come to me for therapy are so focused on their partner’s problems that they can’t see anything else. They are often stuck in blame and negativity. And what we see informs what we believe. If we see only the bad in our partner, it’s easy to believe that he or she doesn’t love us or that the relationship is hopeless. That’s when couples don’t call me; they call lawyers.

We All Need Predictability

By Mark Beck • April 25, 2025
If you are invested in the stock market, it’s been a roller coaster lately. Indeed, perhaps the best short run strategy is to close your eyes and hold on and ride it out—just like on a roller coaster! However you view the market moves we’re seeing—tariffs and the like—one thing is pretty clear: markets don’t like unpredictability. Uncertainty makes markets very nervous. Hence, lots of ups and downs make for tension and trouble. It’s human nature; unpredictability is stressful in any context.

Safety First

By Mark Beck • April 1, 2025
A local factory required all of its employees to attend a safety class. One fellow didn’t really pay attention and when the final exam at the end of the class asked, “In case of a fire, what steps would you take?” the fellow answered, “Large ones!” “Safety First” is a wise strategy, everywhere from the workplace to the highway to healthcare to childcare. Injuries and accidents cost multiplied billions every year and it’s always better to prevent an accident than to treat one. Whatever the setting, people do better when they feel safe.

Curious or Critical

By Mark Beck • March 14, 2025
Somebody said, “Marriage is a never ending conversation.” I think that’s true. It certainly is a never ending education. That’s part of what makes it fun. Everyday I learn something about my wife, Debbie, about how she sees the world and sees me. And I’m often surprised at our different perspectives. We were on the verge of an argument the other day, simply because we both saw the situation very differently. Neither of us were wrong. But, once I realized how Debbie saw things, I understood her actions and reactions much better. And I realized again that a real key to connection lies in understanding, more than being understood. The late Sue Johnson used to say, “People calm down when they feel understood.” I’ve certainly found that to be true.

Love Is a Team Sport

By Mark Beck • January 29, 2025
If you’re a sports fan (specifically, football) this is your favorite time of year. The NFL playoffs showcase the best of the best and even for the non-fanatics out there, some important truths are evident. Football, like many other sports, is a team game. For sure, individual superstars shine, but only because those around them pull together for a common goal. The best teams operate as one. Eleven players, all on the same page: focused, supportive, picking each other up, pursuing the same goal. When they do, they become more than the sum of their parts…highly efficient. They minimize mistakes and overcome them when they happen. When adversity hits, lesser teams slip into fault finding, sniping and looking out for number one. In any sport, if teammates ever become opponents, they can’t win. It’s game over.

Relationship Rescue

By Mark Beck • January 24, 2025
You might remember the cruise ship Costa Concordia that foundered off the coast of Italy in 2012 after her captain carelessly steered her too close to shore. Rocks tore a 175 foot gash in her hull and the ship listed severely to her starboard side, taking on water and running aground. Ultimately, 32 people died and the recovery cost about $2 billion. Perhaps the greatest blunder though, was that the captain waited over an hour to give the order to abandon ship. For such negligence, he was ultimately convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to 15 years. Indeed, he left the ship with 300 passengers still on board! (He said he “fell” into a lifeboat as it was being lowered.)

Help Is Nearby

By Mark Beck • January 17, 2025
I had a close call today. I was almost duped by a very slick hacker. He posed as a security guy from PayPal and I nearly gave him remote access to my computer. (I know, that sounds pretty stupid on my part.) Fortunately for me, when things smelled fishy, I tapped out before any real damage was done. But, I didn’t know what to do from there. I unplugged my PC and called an expert. He knew just what to do and he got me up and running in no time. What a relief! It cost me a few bucks, but most likely saved me a lot more. Computers are a necessary evil in my life. I can’t even imagine managing my home or my business without one. But, they can sure be troublesome. And a cyber wizard, I am not. That’s my problem. I know just enough to be dangerous. It sure eases my mind that help is available when I need it. Because some things I can’t fix. That doesn’t make me stupid…it’s just not my expertise.

Comfort Isn't Always Comfortable

By Mark Beck • January 10, 2025
Intimate relationships are never easy and too many don’t survive. Courtrooms and counselors’ offices are full of couples who didn’t set out to destroy their love; it just looks as if they did. Maybe you’re one of those couples…trying to figure out how you went from newlywed to nearly dead...and you never saw it coming...or you did and you didn't know how to stop it.
A Hold Me Tight couples retreat in Orlando is a great way to ring in the new year

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When You Hit Turbulence

By Mark Beck • December 16, 2024
Now and then, I travel by air. I enjoy it, for the most part. But, on one trip, seemingly out of nowhere, the plane hit heavy turbulence. Suddenly, the cabin was shuttering and shaking. I looked outside; the wings were visibly bouncing up and down as the plane lurched and pitched. I tried to hide my fear, but (pardon the pun) it really shook me up. My stomach tightened; my breathing got shallow. I couldn’t think straight. Having such little experience with something like that, I feared we would crash. But, then, I noticed the flight attendants. They were cool as the backside of a pillow…no panic or alarm. I wondered how they could be so calm. Soon the pilot came over the intercom and in a steady, measured voice, explained that turbulence is normal, the plane was built for much, much worse and it would all subside in a few moments. The crew had been through this many times. They understood what was happening and what to do. I was so glad that somebody did! Their calm was contagious. Gradually, I was able to relax and realized that it wasn’t the crisis I had feared it was. That was a game changer. I got through it and now, turbulence isn’t the problem it used to be for me when I fly. It still happens, but I know what it’s about when it does and that gets me through. .
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