Prevention Beats Treatment!

Any doctor will tell you it’s better to prevent a problem than to treat one. Hence, the adage: “An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.” We have lots of great medical cures today—be it surgery, medication or therapy. Much that used to be terminal is now treatable. But, prevention is almost always easier, cheaper and less painful. We learned long ago that simply washing your hands or covering your mouth when you cough can prevent flu or other diseases that might otherwise kill millions.
It’s like the old commercial for Fram oil filters, where the mechanic looks into the camera and says, “You can pay me now or pay me later.” In other words, an oil change now beats an engine rebuild later. Again, prevention is cheaper and faster than repair.

It's True for Couples Too

And that’s not just true with medicine or mechanics. It’s also true with love. No relationship is perfect. When we fall in love, it starts out so blissfully that we think, “What could go wrong?” Love feels so right that we’re sure it will always be that way. But fears, insecurities and imperfections can undermine even the steadiest, sturdiest couples. 

Seldom does a relationship blow up in one fell swoop. More often, it takes time, sometimes years. Like sand in the shoes, we develop sore spots that become painful, so painful that we get to where we can’t walk. 

But, smart couples choose prevention over cure. They don’t wait until they can’t walk together anymore. 


Hold Me Tight Can Make All the Difference

And that’s where a Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat can make all the difference. Hold Me Tight®️ is one of the best things couples can do to make their relationship strong for the long run, before things go badly awry. It’s a low key, fun, meaningful two day group experience where couples learn the science and sense of love. Hold Me Tight®️ is rooted in research, attachment science and the tenets of Emotionally Focused Therapy. So, it’s more than theory. Hold Me Tight®️ consistently produces long term positive results for couples. It’s like preventive maintenance for your marriage!

Make Sense of What Doesn't

In Hold Me Tight®️ you will make sense of the conflicts that infect all couples…why you seem to get sucked into those same (and seemingly endless) arguments that go nowhere, why you seem to hurt and get hurt by the one you love most. It isn’t that you are a mismatch or not meant for one another. In fact, you’re not alone. It’s reassuring to know that other couples struggle too and that you can change those cycles, better and faster than you thought possible.

Learn to Connect Deeply

In Hold Me Tight®️ you will learn not only what you and your partner (what all people, in fact) want and need in love, you will learn how to get it and give it, how to connect, perhaps like never before. 

Hold Me Tight®️ is safe. Couples go at their own pace. It’s not therapy. It’s low key; it’s learning and doing together with your partner. It’s as safe as washing your hands or covering your mouth when you cough!

Come to Sunny Florida!

Couples Workshops of Florida leads Hold Me Tight®️ retreats four times a year just outside beautiful Orlando. What better place to be in the middle of winter than the Sunshine State?

John Gottman says that most couples wait over six years before getting the help their relationship needs. Don’t make that mistake. Hold Me Tight®️ Is painless prevention that can reap a lifetime of good health. 

Our next retreat is on Friday and Saturday, February 9 & 10, 2024. The time to sign up is NOW.   


Get to know more about Vicki and Mark

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Prepare for a life changing experience


Have a Safety Plan

By Mark Beck July 17, 2025
In my last blog post, we said that the most vital skill for any strong relationship is empathy. (If you haven’t seen that blog, check out “The One Skill Your Relationship Can’t Do Without”.) Empathy is vital in love. But, empathy is not the only important skill. That hit record has a flip side. What is it? It’s vulnerability. Close connection in love demands vulnerability, almost by definition. Vulnerability: the willingness to open up, to show and share the deep stuff: wishes, needs, fears, uncertainties, insecurities, the things about us that we often prefer to hide. In any healthy relationship, vulnerability and empathy go hand in hand. Each makes the other possible. Without them, couples live at arm’s length, “hiding in plain sight,” like intimate strangers. They might be together…might even be married, but they aren’t close. Maybe you know this all too well. Maybe you live it everyday.
By Mark Beck July 14, 2025
Lots of things make for a healthy relationship: affirmation, trust, sacrifice, forgiveness, commitment. But, maybe the most important skill, the one no healthy relationship can do without…is empathy. Empathy is the ability to recognize and convey not only your emotions, but your partner’s emotions as well. Humans are bonding mammals and emotions are how we bond. Emotional connection is the lifeblood of any relationship. Your partner needs to know that you “get them,” that you understand their world, that you support and believe in them, that you are there for them. Empathy gets all that across.
By Mark Beck July 7, 2025
My wife and I bought a car recently. Not a new car, just new to us. We spent a small fortune on it and I’m determined to take good care of it. I vacuum it religiously. I check the fluids, tire pressure, mileage. I keep it clean, inside and out. I wash it at least once a week and am careful not to track a lot of dirt inside it. I’ve watched You Tube videos on simple maintenance such as oil changes, tire rotation and so forth. I’m no master mechanic, but I like to do the little things any shade tree mechanic might. We keep it out of direct sun when we can and drive as carefully as possible.
By Mark Beck June 25, 2025
I had a strange experience recently. I was out of town (in Texas, actually) and absentmindedly left my phone in a WalMart restroom (big mistake, but I know I’m not the first). I realized what I’d done less than 20 minutes later and headed back for my phone. Too late…it was gone. Now, if you found a lost cell phone, what would you do? You’d probably try to contact the owner or at least leave it with someone responsible. You’d make a good faith effort. Most people would. But, not all. With my wife’s phone, I called my number and, sure enough, someone answered. He indeed had picked up my phone. I was relieved…for a second. Then, the guy told me he’d happily return the phone to me…for $200, via Cash App. I don’t know who was dumber: me for leaving my phone behind or him for thinking I’d give him a dime to get it back. We both knew one thing: whether I paid him or not, I’d never see that phone again. It was a sad lesson in broken trust as my faith in humanity slipped a few notches. Chalk one up for the school of hard knocks.
By Mark Beck May 29, 2025
What is the first step to changing our station in life, changing a situation or a relationship? I suggest it starts with changing how we view things, how we look at the problem or the person. Do we see burden or a blessing…obligation or opportunity? Often, when we’re stuck, say, in a difficult relationship, we see our partner as an opponent. He or she is the problem. We may even go find a therapist whom we hope will “fix” our partner. We focus on the other’s weakness, faults and failures, how they let us down and miss the mark. If that is your focus, then the more you look, the more you will see. Most couples who come to me for therapy are so focused on their partner’s problems that they can’t see anything else. They are often stuck in blame and negativity. And what we see informs what we believe. If we see only the bad in our partner, it’s easy to believe that he or she doesn’t love us or that the relationship is hopeless. That’s when couples don’t call me; they call lawyers.
By Mark Beck April 25, 2025
If you are invested in the stock market, it’s been a roller coaster lately. Indeed, perhaps the best short run strategy is to close your eyes and hold on and ride it out—just like on a roller coaster! However you view the market moves we’re seeing—tariffs and the like—one thing is pretty clear: markets don’t like unpredictability. Uncertainty makes markets very nervous. Hence, lots of ups and downs make for tension and trouble. It’s human nature; unpredictability is stressful in any context.
By Mark Beck April 1, 2025
A local factory required all of its employees to attend a safety class. One fellow didn’t really pay attention and when the final exam at the end of the class asked, “In case of a fire, what steps would you take?” the fellow answered, “Large ones!” “Safety First” is a wise strategy, everywhere from the workplace to the highway to healthcare to childcare. Injuries and accidents cost multiplied billions every year and it’s always better to prevent an accident than to treat one. Whatever the setting, people do better when they feel safe.
By Mark Beck March 14, 2025
Somebody said, “Marriage is a never ending conversation.” I think that’s true. It certainly is a never ending education. That’s part of what makes it fun. Everyday I learn something about my wife, Debbie, about how she sees the world and sees me. And I’m often surprised at our different perspectives. We were on the verge of an argument the other day, simply because we both saw the situation very differently. Neither of us were wrong. But, once I realized how Debbie saw things, I understood her actions and reactions much better. And I realized again that a real key to connection lies in understanding, more than being understood. The late Sue Johnson used to say, “People calm down when they feel understood.” I’ve certainly found that to be true.
By Mark Beck January 29, 2025
If you’re a sports fan (specifically, football) this is your favorite time of year. The NFL playoffs showcase the best of the best and even for the non-fanatics out there, some important truths are evident. Football, like many other sports, is a team game. For sure, individual superstars shine, but only because those around them pull together for a common goal. The best teams operate as one. Eleven players, all on the same page: focused, supportive, picking each other up, pursuing the same goal. When they do, they become more than the sum of their parts…highly efficient. They minimize mistakes and overcome them when they happen. When adversity hits, lesser teams slip into fault finding, sniping and looking out for number one. In any sport, if teammates ever become opponents, they can’t win. It’s game over.
By Mark Beck January 24, 2025
You might remember the cruise ship Costa Concordia that foundered off the coast of Italy in 2012 after her captain carelessly steered her too close to shore. Rocks tore a 175 foot gash in her hull and the ship listed severely to her starboard side, taking on water and running aground. Ultimately, 32 people died and the recovery cost about $2 billion. Perhaps the greatest blunder though, was that the captain waited over an hour to give the order to abandon ship. For such negligence, he was ultimately convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to 15 years. Indeed, he left the ship with 300 passengers still on board! (He said he “fell” into a lifeboat as it was being lowered.)
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