A husband and wife went for marriage therapy. “We just have no passion in our relationship,” the wife complained. The husband acknowledged the same but didn’t know what to do. At this point the therapist walked across the office, grabbed the wife, and planted a long kiss right on her lips. 

“Wow!” the wife exclaimed.

The therapist said to the husband, “She needs at least one of those every single day.”

The husband was very excited. “Okay, Doc!” he said. “What time should I have her back tomorrow?”

Of course, no real marriage therapist would actually do that, but the fact remains that a lack of passion is a common complaint in troubled relationships and a prime cause for breakup or divorce. But, what does a lack of passion mean? Often, we equate a lack of passion with a lack of sex. Although the two often go hand in hand, they are by no means one and the same. A lack of passion usually comes first. But, while that may or may not cause a lack of sex, a lack of passion will definitely cause problems. That isn’t to say that couples cannot stay together without passion or sex. Many do. But any healthy relationship will suffer without passion.
A couple holds hands on the beach after completing a Couples Retreat in Orlando, FL. Attend a Couples Retreat today, available to couples throughout the United States.

Treat the Sickness, not the Symptoms

And there is no shortage of tips and techniques for re-igniting passion between partners: more physical contact, more emotional contact, more quality time—the ideas are endless. And those are great, for what they’re worth. But, those are about the symptoms, not the sickness. It’s like, if someone is hitting you over the head with a baseball bat, you could take aspirin for the headache—or, you could get the bat out of their hands! Treating the pain is fine, but why not prevent it? Why not fix the real problem? Why not address what’s causing that lack of passion?

A man and a woman attend a Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat in Orlando, FL and reconnect. Couples Retreats are available to couples in Florida and throughout the United States.

More than Skin Deep Solutions

That’s what couples learn in a Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat. They learn more than skin-deep solutions. They don’t just treat the symptoms. They learn what’s beneath that lack of passion, where it really comes from. In a nutshell, Hold Me Tight®️ is based on the groundbreaking insights of attachment science. Attachment science has taught us that passion and lifelong love are rooted in emotional connection, the safety that comes from a being and being with a partner who is accessible and responsive, and engaged. When we are confident that our partner is there for us, that we can be open with them, and that they are for us, we feel safe and connected and we can thrive in every way. We become our best selves. And that is where passion lives and grows. That is how attachment science defines love. 


A lack of passion, on the other hand, is a lack of that safety. A lack of passion causes disconnection and distance between partners. When we feel distant and unsafe, when we don’t believe our partner is there for us, we put up walls of protection and isolation. We grow apart. Nothing kills passion like disconnection.


Hold Me Tight®️ Couples Retreats Teache Connection

A Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat teaches couples: A) where that lack of passion comes from and; B) how to restore that safety, how to practice empathy and vulnerability to build an accessible and responsive, and engaged connection.

Couples leave a Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat with a roadmap for closer connection and the confidence that they can get there. They know better what they need and how to show up for one another. Many couples say they accomplish more in two days at a Hold Me Tight®️ retreat than in months of therapy. Yet, the retreat is low-key and laid back. Each couple goes at their own pace. You and your partner can indeed revive romance and rekindle passion in a Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat. Do something great for your relationship. Sign up today! 


A woman lies on a couch with her head resting on her partners lap representing the improved bond that comes with completing a Couples Retreat in Orlando, FL. Available to couples throughout Florida and the United States.

Revive the Romance in Your Relationship at a Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat in Orlando, FL Today!

Is your relationship lacking the spark it once had? Do you feel disconnected from your partner and crave that deep emotional connection? It's time to address the root cause of your relationship's lack of passion and transform it into something extraordinary.


Join us for a transformative Hold Me Tight®️ couples retreat where you'll discover more than just superficial solutions. Through the groundbreaking insights of attachment science, you'll learn the true essence of love and how emotional connection is the foundation for lasting passion.




A couple sit together smiling and revitalized after attending a Hold Me Tight® Couples Retreat in Orlando, FL. Our Couples Retreats are available to couples in Florida and throughout the United States.

Have a Safety Plan

The "Other Side" of the Coin

By Mark Beck • July 17, 2025
In my last blog post, we said that the most vital skill for any strong relationship is empathy. (If you haven’t seen that blog, check out “The One Skill Your Relationship Can’t Do Without”.) Empathy is vital in love. But, empathy is not the only important skill. That hit record has a flip side. What is it? It’s vulnerability. Close connection in love demands vulnerability, almost by definition. Vulnerability: the willingness to open up, to show and share the deep stuff: wishes, needs, fears, uncertainties, insecurities, the things about us that we often prefer to hide. In any healthy relationship, vulnerability and empathy go hand in hand. Each makes the other possible. Without them, couples live at arm’s length, “hiding in plain sight,” like intimate strangers. They might be together…might even be married, but they aren’t close. Maybe you know this all too well. Maybe you live it everyday.

The One Skill Your Relationship Can't Do Without

By Mark Beck • July 14, 2025
Lots of things make for a healthy relationship: affirmation, trust, sacrifice, forgiveness, commitment. But, maybe the most important skill, the one no healthy relationship can do without…is empathy. Empathy is the ability to recognize and convey not only your emotions, but your partner’s emotions as well. Humans are bonding mammals and emotions are how we bond. Emotional connection is the lifeblood of any relationship. Your partner needs to know that you “get them,” that you understand their world, that you support and believe in them, that you are there for them. Empathy gets all that across.

Maintenance is Key

By Mark Beck • July 7, 2025
My wife and I bought a car recently. Not a new car, just new to us. We spent a small fortune on it and I’m determined to take good care of it. I vacuum it religiously. I check the fluids, tire pressure, mileage. I keep it clean, inside and out. I wash it at least once a week and am careful not to track a lot of dirt inside it. I’ve watched You Tube videos on simple maintenance such as oil changes, tire rotation and so forth. I’m no master mechanic, but I like to do the little things any shade tree mechanic might. We keep it out of direct sun when we can and drive as carefully as possible.

Trust is Key

By Mark Beck • June 25, 2025
I had a strange experience recently. I was out of town (in Texas, actually) and absentmindedly left my phone in a WalMart restroom (big mistake, but I know I’m not the first). I realized what I’d done less than 20 minutes later and headed back for my phone. Too late…it was gone. Now, if you found a lost cell phone, what would you do? You’d probably try to contact the owner or at least leave it with someone responsible. You’d make a good faith effort. Most people would. But, not all. With my wife’s phone, I called my number and, sure enough, someone answered. He indeed had picked up my phone. I was relieved…for a second. Then, the guy told me he’d happily return the phone to me…for $200, via Cash App. I don’t know who was dumber: me for leaving my phone behind or him for thinking I’d give him a dime to get it back. We both knew one thing: whether I paid him or not, I’d never see that phone again. It was a sad lesson in broken trust as my faith in humanity slipped a few notches. Chalk one up for the school of hard knocks.

Change Your Viewing

By Mark Beck • May 29, 2025
What is the first step to changing our station in life, changing a situation or a relationship? I suggest it starts with changing how we view things, how we look at the problem or the person. Do we see burden or a blessing…obligation or opportunity? Often, when we’re stuck, say, in a difficult relationship, we see our partner as an opponent. He or she is the problem. We may even go find a therapist whom we hope will “fix” our partner. We focus on the other’s weakness, faults and failures, how they let us down and miss the mark. If that is your focus, then the more you look, the more you will see. Most couples who come to me for therapy are so focused on their partner’s problems that they can’t see anything else. They are often stuck in blame and negativity. And what we see informs what we believe. If we see only the bad in our partner, it’s easy to believe that he or she doesn’t love us or that the relationship is hopeless. That’s when couples don’t call me; they call lawyers.

We All Need Predictability

By Mark Beck • April 25, 2025
If you are invested in the stock market, it’s been a roller coaster lately. Indeed, perhaps the best short run strategy is to close your eyes and hold on and ride it out—just like on a roller coaster! However you view the market moves we’re seeing—tariffs and the like—one thing is pretty clear: markets don’t like unpredictability. Uncertainty makes markets very nervous. Hence, lots of ups and downs make for tension and trouble. It’s human nature; unpredictability is stressful in any context.

Safety First

By Mark Beck • April 1, 2025
A local factory required all of its employees to attend a safety class. One fellow didn’t really pay attention and when the final exam at the end of the class asked, “In case of a fire, what steps would you take?” the fellow answered, “Large ones!” “Safety First” is a wise strategy, everywhere from the workplace to the highway to healthcare to childcare. Injuries and accidents cost multiplied billions every year and it’s always better to prevent an accident than to treat one. Whatever the setting, people do better when they feel safe.

Curious or Critical

By Mark Beck • March 14, 2025
Somebody said, “Marriage is a never ending conversation.” I think that’s true. It certainly is a never ending education. That’s part of what makes it fun. Everyday I learn something about my wife, Debbie, about how she sees the world and sees me. And I’m often surprised at our different perspectives. We were on the verge of an argument the other day, simply because we both saw the situation very differently. Neither of us were wrong. But, once I realized how Debbie saw things, I understood her actions and reactions much better. And I realized again that a real key to connection lies in understanding, more than being understood. The late Sue Johnson used to say, “People calm down when they feel understood.” I’ve certainly found that to be true.

Love Is a Team Sport

By Mark Beck • January 29, 2025
If you’re a sports fan (specifically, football) this is your favorite time of year. The NFL playoffs showcase the best of the best and even for the non-fanatics out there, some important truths are evident. Football, like many other sports, is a team game. For sure, individual superstars shine, but only because those around them pull together for a common goal. The best teams operate as one. Eleven players, all on the same page: focused, supportive, picking each other up, pursuing the same goal. When they do, they become more than the sum of their parts…highly efficient. They minimize mistakes and overcome them when they happen. When adversity hits, lesser teams slip into fault finding, sniping and looking out for number one. In any sport, if teammates ever become opponents, they can’t win. It’s game over.

Relationship Rescue

By Mark Beck • January 24, 2025
You might remember the cruise ship Costa Concordia that foundered off the coast of Italy in 2012 after her captain carelessly steered her too close to shore. Rocks tore a 175 foot gash in her hull and the ship listed severely to her starboard side, taking on water and running aground. Ultimately, 32 people died and the recovery cost about $2 billion. Perhaps the greatest blunder though, was that the captain waited over an hour to give the order to abandon ship. For such negligence, he was ultimately convicted of manslaughter and sentenced to 15 years. Indeed, he left the ship with 300 passengers still on board! (He said he “fell” into a lifeboat as it was being lowered.)
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